Thursday, October 8, 2009


Today we had our follow-up appointment with the R.E. Terrified I'd crumble into a blubbering mess, I was actually quite proud of myself when I only required one tissue.

Luckily, the meeting didn't turn into a finger-pointing melee like it had with the first IVF ("Well... YOU have diminished ovarian reserve so it's really all YOUR fault".. or at least that's how my little mind remembers it). My R.E. calmly explained that the latest revelation of the endometriosis is most likely affecting my egg quality, if not also my fallopian tubes. We will know more, of course, after my laparoscopy. I told her that I'd basically do the surgery tomorrow if we could. I want answers, damn it, the sooner the better.

She said that with women with endo, their highest chances of getting pregnant occur 1 - 6 months after a lap. With that in mind, she said we should decide SOON how we want to proceed. (Meaning... if we want to jump right back into another cycle). I'd rather remove my toenails one-by-one with a pair of rusty pliers.

I just don't get how some women do it... cycle continuously for months at a time. Any of you girls out there do this? I just don't have the stomach for it. I need time to lick my wounds and pick up the pieces.

While we're asking questions... anybody out there undergo a lap? How'd it go? What did you find? And of course... anybody get knocked up after it??

Oh... before I forget. Much love and thanks goes out to fellow SF-bay area girl Melissa from "Banking on It" for my Kreativ Blogger award. Behold: 

It was so sweet of her to think of me, and I of course could really use the boost. So, here's the rules that accompany this esteemed honor:

1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4-Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5-Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6-Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

Here's my 7 things you don't yet (but are about to) know about me:

1. I used to think that when I grew up, I'd be a nun. 

2. I've been addicted to Chap Stick since the first grade.

3. My favorite color is red.

4. One of my most unforgettable moments in life is when I sang at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland and helped my band win first place in the 'Battle of the Corporate Bands'. I've definitely lived out my rock n roll fantasy!!

5. I met my husband and love of my life on

6. As a kid, I used to hole myself up in my room for hours at a time, just drawing and drawing until my hand hurt. Guess I always knew I'd end up doing something creative for a living.

7. I'm a huge animal lover and just can't get enough of snuggling up with my hairless mutt, Grady. I vow never to live without a pet ever again!


Anonymous said...

I've never had a lap, so I'm no help there. I hope you are able to find out some good information about the whole process and make the decisions that are right for you.

Kathryn said...

I've been thru 3 laps but for issues other than endo. If you are interested, you can email me (4katee @ gmail . com) but i don't know if i could tell you anything helpful. Different issues.

I do pray you get your answers soon.

You listed me for an award??!! How very kind & thoughtful of you. :)

J.W. said...

Thank you so much for the nomination! I'm truly honored and very flattered. You are too kind.

A few weeks ago when my first cycle was cancelled, I was devastated. I found renewed hope in your blog and your determination and hope. Never lose hope. Your strength is admirable and every night as I pray for those I know and love..I always pray for 'Wannabe Mommy' in the hopes that you see a positive soon.

Thank you.

Melissa G said...

Unfortunately, I can't help you with the Lap info either.

I don't blame you for needing a little time to lick your wounds. I have so much respect for all you women who've gone through IVF. It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

I'm glad the award gave you a little boost. I wish I could do more to help. If you ever need to chat, please don't hesitate to send me an email:

Take good care.

Circus Princess said...

Congratulations on your award and thank you so much for the nomination :-)

Sorry to hear about the endo but hoping that could present a possible solution!

Ellie said...

My girlfriend had a lap and conceived no problems about 5 months later. Good luck, I guess you just hclowelloave to listen to your body and make the choices that feel right for you at this point in your life.

April said...

Thank you for the award...what a nice surprise!

I had a lap in the fall of '06. It was a relief for me because they found "something" ... I hated all the unknowns of infertility so finding "something" was a nice change. Stage 3 endo and they removed much scar tissue. I do believe it led to our eventual success with IVF and if I had to do it over again, would do IVF as soon as I could have afterwards (instead we waited a while and I had to go on injectibles to keep everything at bay in the meantime)...

Good luck!

womb for improvement said...

Thanks for the award! I wish I could give you answers regarding the lap - but no idea. Will keep an eye on you though and see how it pans out. Best of luck.

Caitlin said...

Here from ICLW... (a 'lil early)

I'm new to the world of Endo as well, but I have undergone two laps in the past four months. The first was to remove scar tissue and unblock tubes. A few weeks back I had another to remove a cyst and that's when they diagnosed the Endo - Stage IV.

I'm not pregnant yet, but I will start Lup.ron injectables for six months to let my poor organs heal. The tissue had already begun to grow back and blocked up my right tube again. My RE thinks that the Lu.pron will keep the endo at bay so everything can heal correctly.

Hope that gives a *little* insight...I have read of a few girls on Mel's blogroll that were successfull after a lap. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

It's Carmex for me. Can't live without it. Or my pets, either.

I dunno how to keep going either - I had to take a little break. Do what feels right to you!

sonja said...

I have had a lap ... they found a little bit of endometriosis on my uterus, some on my bladder, and spot on my bowel, one ovary slightly adhered to my abdominal wall (fixed now), and a removed a hemorrhagic cyst. I wish I could say I am pregnant now, but I am, unfortunately, not. My egg quality is in question as well.

As for the cycling -- I have been going since January with only 2 breaks (forced because of leftover cysts). I don't know ... I think it's probably an unhealthy addiction in some ways. I just can't stop. But I will be the first to admit that when I have a forced break I get to heal emotionally and remember what it's like to be a normal person with a normal life again. I think breaks are a good, healing thing.

I hope you heal soon.