Tuesday, May 19, 2009


I believe congratulations are in order, because I'm... (drumroll, please) .... PREGNOT!

What is pregnot, you ask? Well, it's the condition you find yourself in when your period is almost 4 weeks late, but contrary to your prayerful optimism those BFNs keep showing up anyway. Nevermind that I'm completely bloated and having side aches. Not too mention my serious case of "pregnotcy brain". It's like I get to experience all the worst side effects of real pregnancy, but with no bundle of joy to show for it at the end. I know I've never been overly welcoming to Aunt Flo, but I must have really done something to piss her off this time.

Well, all those pee sticks could be wrong... right?  Stranger things have happened. I'd happily get onboard with that theory, except something tells me I can probably trust the two (yes, TWO) doctor's blood tests—also negatory. *Sigh* Any chance the lab could mix up their results—twice? A girl can dream.

They say stress is the most common culprit for wreaking havoc with your hormones. Lord knows I've had my share this month. (Turning 39 was a hell-of-a-time.) But is there something more I'm missing? Annovulation? Ectopic pregnancy?? Ovarian cancer???  

After many sleepless nights of googling those and other countless horrors, I think I can safely say I'm just plain late. But where does that leave me? Wondering where my damn period went, for one. My RE didn't exactly buoy my hopes by telling me an occurrence like this is a sure sign of waning ovary function. Thanks, doc... I've never wanted my period to start so badly before. (Well, except for those couple times in college).

So for the next couple days, possibly weeks, you can find me here, tampon in one hand, glass of wine in the other, waiting anxiously for my menses. 

Here's to keeping hope alive.