Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I got nuthin'

So, obviously I haven't written anything here for quite a while. And it hasn't been because I don't want to. Or I forgot about it. It's just this plain, simple fact: I've been digging deep to unearth any recent fertility musings and guess what? I got nuthin'.

Rather than bore you with the other mundane facts of my life, I've stayed mum. But I've still been lurking here and there. And I'm glad to report that most of you aren't as boring as I am.

I guess if you put a gun to my head and said "spill it, Wannabemommy!!" I'd have to tell you about the book I just finished, Making Babies. Most people might think I'm into porn from the sound of the tawdry title, but I know you guys get me. This one was co-written by an acupuncturist and renowned reproductive endocrinologist. Even though I can appreciate the balanced point of view, I was pretty sure there wasn't anything new for this ole veteran to learn. Well, I was wrong. Take for instance their advice to douche before luv-making. (Good God, I said douche.) Seems that some women harbor a slightly acidic environment in their lady-parts, and douching with an alkaline solution of baking soda and water might be enough to shift them over to the baby-friendly side. Stranger things have happened. 

All this got me thinking about my own pH balance. I've read before how some doctors believe that over-acidity is at the root of all disease, and that if we can just achieve optimal pH balance, we'd be completely healthy (and fertile?). So last night I ran to the store and bought some litmus paper. Since then, I've turned my body into a living science experiment, constantly spitting and peeing on the stuff. (I guess I never got enough of 8th grade biology class). The verdict? My own pH level runs anywhere from a horrid 5.5 to a healthy 7.5, depending on the breeze, I guess. Once, I got creative and actually peed and spit on the stuff at the exact same time. The two results were about a point apart. I'm either completely mad or on the verge of a major scientific breakthrough.

So that's my boring, slightly insane life lately. Bet you're sorry you put that gun to my head, aren't ya?