Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Pregnot

I believe congratulations are in order, because I'm... (drumroll, please) .... PREGNOT!

What is pregnot, you ask? Well, it's the condition you find yourself in when your period is almost 4 weeks late, but contrary to your prayerful optimism those BFNs keep showing up anyway. Nevermind that I'm completely bloated and having side aches. Not too mention my serious case of "pregnotcy brain". It's like I get to experience all the worst side effects of real pregnancy, but with no bundle of joy to show for it at the end. I know I've never been overly welcoming to Aunt Flo, but I must have really done something to piss her off this time.

Well, all those pee sticks could be wrong... right?  Stranger things have happened. I'd happily get onboard with that theory, except something tells me I can probably trust the two (yes, TWO) doctor's blood tests—also negatory. *Sigh* Any chance the lab could mix up their results—twice? A girl can dream.

They say stress is the most common culprit for wreaking havoc with your hormones. Lord knows I've had my share this month. (Turning 39 was a hell-of-a-time.) But is there something more I'm missing? Annovulation? Ectopic pregnancy?? Ovarian cancer???  

After many sleepless nights of googling those and other countless horrors, I think I can safely say I'm just plain late. But where does that leave me? Wondering where my damn period went, for one. My RE didn't exactly buoy my hopes by telling me an occurrence like this is a sure sign of waning ovary function. Thanks, doc... I've never wanted my period to start so badly before. (Well, except for those couple times in college).

So for the next couple days, possibly weeks, you can find me here, tampon in one hand, glass of wine in the other, waiting anxiously for my menses. 

Here's to keeping hope alive.

4 comments:

Kathryn said...

I just went thru a week of this, so i know what you're talking about. It is just awful. Hope it sorts out for you soon.

April said...

I HATE pregnotcies. I had one with my first or second IUI, and DAMN. Enjoy the wine. I used to find it wholly satisfying to SNAP the BFN tests in half and throw them across the bathroom. I highly recommend it. And maybe a teensy, weensy little temper-tantrum, because you're totally justified. Hang in there.

Deathstar said...

Put on a pair of white pants and go for a boat ride - that should take care of that. Aw, crap, I'm sorry to hear about this.

Zee said...

Ah, yes. The endless, aimless, clueless (possibly anovulatory) cycle. Been there. Done that. Several times, in fact. It sucks, especially when you have a doc all too ready to chime in with the "waning ovarian function" chorus. The good news is: in my experience, there are still many more "normal" cycles to come, in spite of the current extended long-playing nightmare. (And, since I'm assuming you don't live an ocean away from your partner as I do, you'll have ample opportunity to take advantage of them when they come!) So don't make yourself too crazy and try to hang in there.

PS My word verification is "conesag". An unsolicited commentary on my middle-aged rack, perhaps? Nice.