Fact is, the designer in me couldn't wait to get my hands on this boring template. Yet I struggled with the idea of using a photo of myself. Even a blurry one. Now I know that many of you other sub-fertiles out there openly label yourselves by name. And I applaud you for it. It's not that I think I have something to be ashamed of. But for the past four years, I have been living something of a double life. Happily child-free on the outside, desperately infertile on the inside.
It started when I took this job. In my mind I thought I'd be here maybe 6 months—max—then out the door on maternity leave. (Pause here for laughter.)
Naturally, I didn't want anyone at my new job to know of my intentions, should they think of me as anything less than a serious professional. It also didn't help that my office is kind of ... impersonal. I didn't really "connect" with anyone here the way I had at my old job. I wasn't comfortable confiding that sort of personal information. (Incidently, just about everyone at my old office knew about my TTC.) When my secret plan didn't quite hatch, well, I just figured I needed more time. And more time is what I got. And more, and more, and more ....
... Till I found myself here. Passing myself off as an "I'm-above-all-that-mommy-mumbo-jumbo", "childless-by-choice" happily married woman. See how deceiving appearances can be?
In my defense, I had to do it. When you're knocking on 40's door without any kids tugging at your coat, people start to ask questions. I always just brush them off with indifferent responses like "Oh, I'm in no rush"... or, "I love being an aunt". I figured that would shut them up and leave me to do my job without any fear of being stepped over for promotions or key assignments. And it worked. I was promoted last quarter.
Anyway, I'm starting to veer off course here. (I blame it on the meds). So in conclusion I'd just like to say: hope you enjoy my new layout. But please don't forward it to my boss!